Movie: The Greatest Love Story Ever Told

Arlen Konopaki and Mike Robertson's debut film The Greatest Love Story Ever Told is pretty similar to a host of Edmonton's recent slew of low-budget comedy flicks; subversively funny, comfortable on the eyes, and giggling nervously due to the stress. It's a charming love story between Rutiger, a doctor with enough baggage to go around, and Merv, the long-suffering woman who steals his heart. It's a romantic comedy caught in an ironic trap, more concerned with the laughs than with the romance, but it's a forgivable omission when the humour itself is so engaging. Instead, the film runs into problems running as a two-hour comedy.

TGLSET starts off on a giddy, full-blown cynical note: taking its cue from The Princess Bride, a kindly older man sits at the foot of a sick kid's bed to read him a romantic fairytale. Unlike Princess Bride, however, the man is not related, not invited, chloroforms the kid and knocks the mother down beating his hasty retreat. It's a damn funny scene; it's also a pretty appropriate blueprint for every scene that follows it. Konopaki and Robertson set up a situation, give it a comic twist, do something even more shocking, and then run screaming from the joke. It gets results short-term, but this is a two-hour movie we're dealing with. You need to space out whip-crack jokes with subtler approaches, or it becomes a bit too much over the course of the evening.

Or maybe it's a sign of the times that Family Guy is now old enough to be considered an artistic influence. TGLSET's humour relies on quick set-ups and throw-away flashbacks, letting the script ultimately dictate the storyboard and final edit, and this handicaps the movie's ability to tell the story as well as it could. When as much of the movie (and its humour) relies on the audience knowing when Rutiger and Merv are meeting, together, broken up or on the mend, the sudden (and sometimes random) chapter-flipping is downright confusing.

As the childish and mercurial Rutiger, Konopaki shines; he combines likeability and bug-eyed craziness in a way that works, and the movie keeps him busy flaunting his comic chops. Tia Chambers plays Merv as a sweet, almost-inflappable pixie. Unfortunately, it's very much the boys' movie--other than being everyone's object of affection, Chambers has very little to do, an unfortunate inequality that hinders the couples chemistry. If Margaret Dumont were still alive, she would have done quite fine here, but you're not supposed to like Margaret Dumont. Beyond that, tons of local funnymen and friends fill out the cast in a blink-and-you'll-miss-them parade, and most do well with what they're given. I especially loved Marc Shulte's supporting role as the self-centered and cruel best friend Zander.

The biggest laughs of the night came from a fantasy sequence shot entirely in silent movie style; it was corny as hell, but they also kept it simple and lavished more care on their jokes. And that should hopefully prove to be informative for Konopaki and Robertson: ultimately, it's a movie that's about as strong as the lessons they've learned while shooting the movie.

The Greatest Love Story Ever Told is strong for a debut movie. I want to see more, and the packed house it played to was undoubtedly into it. So see the film--and support a local production--but if you check your head at the door, you'll probably enoy it better.

The Greatest Love Story Ever Told runs at the Princess Theatre (10337 - 82 Avenue) through May 5th.

(And incidentally, the soundtrack is provided by the filmmaker's band, The Corduroys, and kicks your ass. It's a little cart-before-the-horse, but they really did well with the music.)

Web: Nanaca Crash!!

If you haven't seen this yet, you might want to check it out.

It's pretty much what you want a Flash game to deliver: it's simple enough to load, easy enough to figure out (which you'll have to, as the instructions are delivered unmercifully in Japanese), and addictive enough to burn up a half hour you were probably intending on spending on something else. There's strategy involved and stuff you can pick up on, but enough dumb luck to make even a beginner kick ass.

For what it's worth, my top score's something like 1000 m, but that's small potatoes. It's a scary planet.

Also: I have a theory that this game is much more enjoyable when you've freshly dumped someone or have been freshly dumped. Couldn't tell you in either event.

Event: Pop Culture Fair

Not that anyone here from the EGS is involved with this event, but the Edmonton Pop Culture Fair is coming up this Sunday, April 24. It's going to be held at the Edmonton Aviation Heritage Centre, 11410 Kingsway Ave., from 10:00 am to 4:00 pm. Admission is $4. You can get more info here.

Why am I mentioning it? Well, I've been to the past two fairs, and let me tell you something: if you're even remotely interested in standing in an airplane hangar full of collectables - comics, cds, records, photos, toys, cards, and the like - and over 50% of Edmonton's geek community, then you should go, even for half an hour. Even my girlfriend enjoys herself there, and the geekiest thing she enjoys is the odd episode of Star Trek.

Television: Dr. Who

I have a confession. I have never seen an episode of the original Dr. Who series. I know, I know, I'm a bad geek, but I had only broadcast television when I was growing up: no cable, no PBS - or whatever channel it was on - so no Dr. Who for the little Doc. So when I heard that the BBC was continuing the series, I was of two minds about it. I was interested and excited to see it, but I was also worried that, without knowing anything about the original series, the relaunch would be incomprehensible.

Fortunately, that was not the case. The new Dr. Who is thoroughly enjoyable and stands up well on its own merits: knowledge of previous continuity is not a pre-requisite (although I would imagine that it would enhance the viewer's enjoyment). I've only seen the first three episodes, and I'm solidly hooked. The talent of the actors that play The Doctor (Christopher Eccleston) and his companion Rose Tyler (Billie Piper) are a huge reason: not only are they skilled individuals, but their chemistry is fantastic:

The Doctor: Tell you what... with a little bit of jiggery pokery...
Rose: Is that a technical term, "jiggery pokery"?
The Doctor: Yeah, I came first in jiggery pokery, what about you?
Rose: Nah, I failed hullabaloo.

I'm very disappointed that Eccleston is leaving the show before the end of the first season: he's got great charisma and he delivers a strong performance without being self-aware. He steps into the iconic role with skill and grace, and I'll just have to hope that his replacement can maintain the high standard he set.

I like everything about the show; the stories, the special effects, the scripts: nothing bad to say about any of them. I don't want to give synopses of the episodes I've seen - if you haven't seen them, I'm sure you can get a hold of them somehow, and if I tried to summarize the shows, I wouldn't be doing them justice. Essentially, what I'm trying to get across is that Dr. Who is a very good show, and if you like science fiction, tales of adventure, or the medium of television, you should be watching it.

Download: Bill Janovitz and Crown Victoria

Background

I remember when Napster started; I also remember when they shut its ass down. MP3s were controversial beasts back then, and were surely going to destroy the music industry as we know it. The RIAA believed it. Lance Bass believed it. They argued it only exists to distribute pirated music for no cost and pulled its plug. The influence on artists: negligable. Then they were bought up by Bertlesmann, the conglomerate behind Sony BMG, and made into a pay service.

Yeah, there were new FTP programs since those innocent days: you could get KISS on Kazaa, Moby on Morpheus, or Los Lobos on Limewire (a truly excellent program, by the way, with no spyware) . . . but can you make the argument that they help the artists? If you're like me, you'd say no, but if you're like me, then you're also a smug, greedy bastard and will do it anyways.

(Bear with me, this is going somewhere.)

So what if you want to download free music on a clear conscience?

There used to be a fascinating site once called MP3.com. I say "fascinating" because they would feature tracks posted by new, unproven artists, broken down by category and marketed as adventurous new sounds. I've bought albums based off of downloads off of this site; the gamble pays off for these acts. However, I also say "used to be" because they were bought up by Bertlesmann, the conglomerate behind Sony BMG, and made into a pay service.

So now the site to visit is Download.com, which operates like the old-school MP3.com with artists arranged by genre or location. It's a massive spawl of musicians and styles, and of course, some are good, some are bad, but you've got to take the time to fish. At least before they're bought up by Bertlesmann, the conglomerate behind Sony BMG, and made into a pay service.

And so . . .

I've honestly never come across Bill Janovitz before, and now I'm wishing I had much sooner so to track his earlier material down. He's been playing for over fifteen years, has earned indie praise during all this time, and even has a book on the Stones coming out. The Download.com selection is just a couple of cuts from his one of two bands (Buffalo Tom being the other one.)

The first song, Almost Beating, is good. Nothing incredibly fancy, mind you, just solid ensemble playing, folksy poetry lyrics and a solid-but-smokey voice. If you grew up listening to Tom Cochrane, you've heard this before, and it's something I'd enjoy best, say, car-tripping. It's that kind of song.

One, Two, Three on the other hand . . . sweet Jesus. I can not get this song out of my head for trying. From the sweet, subdued drumming that leads in to all the instrumentals kicking in, to the bittersweet love story in the lyrics ("We’re just the notches on the Fahrenheit thermometer, the third degree / The first, the second child, the third was me") . . . this is exactly the kind of song that you can hear cold and then want to hear more. It's haunting, then catchy, then honest, then passionate. Janovitz runs the entire gamut through this song and doesn't pander while doing it. It sounds like something Elvis Costello would do if he wasn't obsessed with classical composition . . . wait, no, he did try it.

Do yourself a favour and try one or both of the tracks . . . it's worth your time. If you disagree with me, delete them, but you still gave them a chance.

As for me, I'm itching to buy some of Janovitz' discs . . . all because of some free MP3s. Now why is this concept so hard to understand, Lance Bass?

Comic: Bone

I've been reading Jeff Smith's Bone since 1995, when the mother of my friend Perry gave me the first few issues to read.

From the first page of the first issue, I was enraptured. It was like the old Carl Barks "Uncle Scrooge" stories, featuring these three cousins who were run out of their hometown: the megalomaniacal Phoney Bone (who acted like a jerky Uncle Scrooge); Smiley Bone, the cousin who'd go along with Phoney on everything (if only for being part of something fun); and Fone Bone, the innocent one that you can't help but empathise with.

They find themselves in this almost Bronze Age fantasy valley, complete with talking bugs, dragons and rat creatures. So begins a story with the scope of The Lord of the Rings, and a buttload of humour to boot.

Hidden princesses, a dimension called The Dreaming, Moby Dick. This story has everything, and it can be read by youngsters and old people alike.

Dev's dad actually started reading Bone because he brought it into the school he teaches at. Scholastic Books is republishing the trades in colour for younger readers. It's just one of the most innocent, thrilling, funny books I've read, period.

I just picked up the last trade over the weekend. And while reading it, I started to cry. True, it was in part because a major character I've known for ten years was killed, but it was also because I knew this was the end. The Bones couldn't stay in the valley, because they were from a different place. And they would go home. And it would be the biggest decision Fone Bone would ever have to make.

Seriously, if you haven't read any Bone books, I'd urge you to pick them up. Or, hell, I'll lend them to you. Because, seriously, this series is what comics is all about. It's like what Cerebus would be to me if it stayed in the whole Church and State mode for all of its three hundred issues.

The Great Cow Race alone is worth the price of reading ten volumes.

Geeks! Geeks!

Hi. Welcome to the Edmonton Geek Society (although the name might change soon), the combined blog of some Edmonton friends.

Let's introduce you to the players (did we want to do this with full names or what, here?):

I'm Kyle Jago, creator of Biting the Hand that Reads Me. Along with me are Devin R. Bruce (author of Doctor Teeth's Electric Mayhem), Stan Woo (author of WorstNinjaEver, for the sake of brevity), and D!. (Edited. -KJ)

Dev wanted to see me write more, since my blog wasn't really being updated as much as he (or I) would like. He and Stan came up with the idea of this blog, which would focus on our more geeky obsessions.

I was worried that this might kill Biting the Hand, but I'm willing to give it a try.

So, on with my first rant about a particular comic...